This week's strip was a very challenging one. Since both Squid-Girl and CM have stuff happening simultaneously I was hesitant to keep doing one strip showcasing a single character back and forth. It was important to begin conveying to you (the reader) that these separate events all take place at the same relative time. What's happening to CM in the cave with the ghoul is meatier, with important plot elements to the storyline (and the greater plot of the strip itself) but became a little too "talky" with not much action. Meanwhile, Squid-Girl's arc is all visual. I wanted to show two key elements a) that the smokey specters are emanating from the isle rocks and b) that Squid-Girl's second set of bulbous eyes on the back of her head are fully functional. Did it work? Is that what comes across? Did I do my job as a storyteller or were these elements lost? I'd love to know your thoughts... In the end I opted for some good ol' fashioned voice over to move things along with our new ghoulish friend here doing all the heavy lifting as I finally throw you all a bone and drop some meaty bits of plot in your supper dish. Enjoy!
Denver, you have nailed your story-telling and narration choices. Your layout for this scene is a good choice. You have communicated exactly what you wanted in this strip (and in the last couple of pages). Because you have juxtaposed the text and static action of Checkered Man against the action of Squid-Girl and the ghouls, the idea that these events are happening concurrently are very clear. To communicate that Squid-Girl’s second set of eyes actually work, perhaps you could draw some sort of small reflection of the ghouls in them–to show that she can see what is around and behind her?
Additionally, thanks for showing your developmental process. I enjoy your work, and it’s always nice to see how other artists do what they do.
Another strange coicidence: it is pretty early here on the East Coast–about 5:00am (for some odd reason I woke up randomly, and I will be paying for this lack of sleep later). But I listen to sports talk radio, and the radio host was talking about Barney Miller, and then I read Checkered Man mention Hal Linden in your strip all within just a few minutes’ time! Wow. Random. Maybe you can have Checkered Man say what the winning Powerball numbers are so I can go play them…
Beautiful page! Your use of blacks and tones is perfect. And I love the behind the scenes stuff. Are those drawings of the other idols on the script? A bunny? Awesome.
Great strip, I love your layouts as usual. For some reason I didn’t get the fact that those were the eyes on the back of the head, I’m not sure why – but I see it now that you mention it. My guess is that the shot is too tight, and I didn’t realize what that actually was. Or I didn’t spend enough time looking at it, since it’s a small panel.
Love the page though, and yes I get that it’s all going on together. Love hte last panel.
I didn’t get that the eyes were moving independently either. I was thinking that maybe it was a clue to the overlay of text, ‘pieces of the master went with them,’ that maybe those eyes might be connected with the ‘master.’
You handled this really well. The creepiness is in full effect.
Yeah, I’m with Tom on Squid Girls eyes. I think it was to tight as well, maybe if you had a little bit of her face showing? But the rest of the page is as great as usual. And I love seeing the script with the sketches on it. It’s always fun to see behind the scenes.